tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-566910144128958757.post6429721561390161538..comments2023-04-30T00:48:50.178-07:00Comments on Core Biology I Honors: Polluted Air Cuts Years Off Lives of Millions in India, Study FindsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08576127734266494869noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-566910144128958757.post-65907012459939787032015-04-19T16:55:28.205-07:002015-04-19T16:55:28.205-07:00Ellie did a really well written summary of this ar...Ellie did a really well written summary of this article. It was very informative and perfectly touched every point this article tried to get across. I really liked how she included quotes from the article to help get her point across even more. Ellies article really caught my attention on problems going on in the world and I am happy that this article informed me.<br /><br />Something new I learned that I did not know before was that almost 2.1 billion years can be lost from the Indians just because of air pollution. I think it is devastating that people are starting to have more premature deaths just because of pollution in the air.<br /><br />I think if there was one way to improve this article, Ellie could have given her opinion more. Also, as well as possible solutions to help fix this problem but over all this current event was very well written!Grace Stephenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05288341753902893618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-566910144128958757.post-72814293554723580792015-04-13T20:09:52.628-07:002015-04-13T20:09:52.628-07:00In Ellie’s review of her article, Polluted Air Cut...In Ellie’s review of her article, Polluted Air Cuts Years Off Lives of Millions in India, Study Finds, she did a beautiful job incorporating quotes to prove her argument. The quotes she chose, were not only factual, but they also helped keep the reader’s attention making the reader empathetic for the Indians. The paragraph where she speaks to the issue and our role as people to do our part in taking action. By hearing of the fire conditions in India, she was able to rally readers to ensure their own country does not follow a similar path.<br /> I found her quote about the Indian population, as a whole, losing over 2.3 billion years to pollution. The information was even more powerful it was stated as 3.2 years per Indian. This information was much easier to process and connect to on a personal level.<br /> The review is very difficult to critique because it was done well. Ellie chose to write in a style that was slightly familiar in order to connect with the audience and prove her message about pollution, however with every stylistic choice there a drawbacks and in her case she sacrificed a professional scientific tone that should accompany a scientific article in order to tug on the readers heartstrings. <br />Ford Neildhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18248611375823329524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-566910144128958757.post-1577299916932240952015-04-13T18:43:59.129-07:002015-04-13T18:43:59.129-07:00Ellie did a very good job with her current event! ...Ellie did a very good job with her current event! She did a very good job summarizing the article with a lot of detail, which focused on the main points of the article. She gave quite a few statistics, showing the reader the severity of this issue. I also liked the way she related the article to what is happening in the real world today, especially because pollution in India is a very prominent issue. I found it shocking how the the severity in air pollution is causing the life expectancy rate to drop down an average of 3.2 years. I also found it interesting how even though air pollution is becoming more and more dangerous the government is still wanting to increase the combustion of coal. I thought that the government is trying to do its best to stop air pollution, but I guess that is not the case, or they might not be aware of the severe consequences that the over combustion of coal could cause. One thing that I think she could do next time would be to add ways on how India is trying to control this issue, and whether any processes have started. Overall, I think she did a great job and her review was very informative and interesting! Natascha Purihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04799125350048596443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-566910144128958757.post-62244784101106704292015-04-13T14:15:04.214-07:002015-04-13T14:15:04.214-07:00Ellie a good job with her current event. She inclu...Ellie a good job with her current event. She included a lot of detail in her summary. She also incorporated many quotes directly from her article which made her review much stronger. Ellie made it very clear that this article raised an important issue in today's world. <br /><br />I was also surprised that India was more polluted than China. Before reading this, I thought China was the most polluted area of the world. I liked how suggested many ways to improve these conditions. <br /><br />Even though Ellie's review was great, she could have included more statistics about the conditions in India. Other than that, she did a great job.Alexa S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07112837090650106505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-566910144128958757.post-66631371354300689942015-04-13T11:52:04.423-07:002015-04-13T11:52:04.423-07:00Ellie did a great job with her current event repor...Ellie did a great job with her current event report. Her summary of the article was very well written and she made it very clear that it is focused on pollution. She was also able to include quotes more than once that not only contributed to her summary but the quotes also gave us more insight on why pollution is such an important issue. Before reading this I never knew that India was more polluted than China. I also never knew that people living in India are losing up to 3.2 years of their life just from the effects of pollution. Even though Ellie's report was well written she could have gone into more detail about how we can help do resolve this growing issue.Raquel Guzmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16319159836642782667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-566910144128958757.post-3794215927894569872015-04-13T11:04:27.800-07:002015-04-13T11:04:27.800-07:00I think Ellie did a very good job explaning the ar...I think Ellie did a very good job explaning the article. She stated lots of good facts and made sure that she was still talking abut the pollution. All of her facts showed me that she clearly knew everything she had to know in her article and made sure to put it in her writing. Some things I didn't know after reading this was how polluted India is. Your critique paragraph was very well done and analyzed everything in your article very clearly. I was also very unsure of that pollution didn't just affect animals but people as well, Also that 660 million Indians could loose 2.1 billion years of life is very harsh and really shows that pollution is a major deal to everyone. After all I think Ellie did a very good job writing this and explaining that pollution is a major cause these say.<br />Good job Ellie :)sarah wagnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11777005411843838049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-566910144128958757.post-8624967200985617582015-04-12T16:43:10.707-07:002015-04-12T16:43:10.707-07:00You did a great job summarizing the article. You s... You did a great job summarizing the article. You stated the facts clearly and centered in on the severity of the pollution. You state clearly what you learned in your second paragraph. I was also unaware of how polluted India was and it was interesting that you compared it to China. Finally your critique paragraph fully analyzes your article and your information and critique is well said. <br /> Both your quotes interested me, especially the first one. I was surprised to hear that the pollution affects people so much to the point that they loose 3 years of their lives. The fact that 660 million indians could loose 2.1 billion years of life is so crucial and really draws to the fact that this is a major issue. I also didn't know that India was more polluted than China and found that to be interesting. <br /> Your current event was very well done. One suggestion I have is to maybe add a few more statistics, as they are very striking! Great job Ellie!!!!!!!Lucy Hanrahanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10103938654170248227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-566910144128958757.post-26707289563543610412015-04-12T14:42:01.953-07:002015-04-12T14:42:01.953-07:00Ellie did a fantastic job of summarizing the artic...Ellie did a fantastic job of summarizing the article she included great quotes, which helped support the author’s argument of how severe the pollution in India truly is. I liked how well developed and thought out her paragraphs were especially her comment on the lack of quotes from actual people in India. I agree that that would add to the argument significantly. Ellie also made significant connections to how pollution affects the lives not just in India, but all around the world.<br />I enjoyed reading Ellie’s review as well as the article itself, it is important for us to be more aware of our surroundings, and take precautions. The smallest things like littering effect the world in a huge way. The article brought awareness of the ongoing issue of polluting the environment. <br />One thing I believe could have made your review stronger was elaborating India’s initiative on helping their current problem.<br />kate braumullerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10163951071436263875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-566910144128958757.post-9887087368470695502015-04-12T10:06:30.212-07:002015-04-12T10:06:30.212-07:00Ellie did a good job in bringing in quotes into he...Ellie did a good job in bringing in quotes into her summary which helped prove the point of the article. Ellie as well did a good job in emphasizing how serious pollution is today and how important it is that we attend this problem. Finally, Ellie did a good job in including some statistics and other facts from the article in her summary. I truthfully never would think that India was the most polluted country in the world. Another thing that I didn’t realize was how much damage pollution could do to a person. One thing that could have made the report better was stating a few ways we can solve this problem. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02555419680276388060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-566910144128958757.post-34247158477720765492015-04-11T12:21:58.962-07:002015-04-11T12:21:58.962-07:00You did a great job incorporating quotes from the ...You did a great job incorporating quotes from the article to back up the points you made in your summary paragraph; it made your claims well-supported. Next, you picked an interesting, applicable article that felt relevant and interesting for the reader to read a review of. Finally, your relevance paragraph was excellent, where you made constant and thorough connections between the article and our lives as human beings.<br />I found it really interesting that the average Indian living in these horrific conditions loses 3.2 years in his/her lifespan. If you think about it, that's a tremendous amount of time. Even more interesting is the fact that the Indian people haven't protested about it yet. In the day and age where India is rushing to modernize their economy, it is being done at the cost of their people, who have yet to either a) understand this or b) care.<br />One suggestion I have is to omit any superfluous information which isn't directly necessary to the point of the review. With less writing, the review becomes easier and slightly less time-consuming to read, yet still retains all its main points. Overall, though, you did a really good job, and it was hard to find anything on which to improve. Great job Ellie!!Ethan Reichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15786501885113921866noreply@blogger.com